Living With Confidence (Pt. 4 of 6)

I was watching a baseball game recently and the pitcher was struggling.  This was a player who, in years past, had been considered his team’s ace.  He was typically in the conversation for being named to the All-Star team and was, at times, absolutely dominant.  But on this occasion, he was struggling.  He wasn’t blowing away the opposition like he used to.  The announcers observed this and wondered what was going on.  Was he injured?  Had the wear and tear of a lengthy pro career finally caught up with him?  Their answer: Confidence.  In previous years, they said, he pitched with confidence.  You could almost see it in the way he carried himself on the mound: “Here’s my best.  See if you can hit it.  I think I’m better than you.”  But this year, he looked tentative and uncertain on the mound.  His lack of confidence undermined his performance.

While I don’t imagine any pro athletes will read this post, my guess is we all know how elusive a commodity confidence can be.  We are feeling good and positive, but something unforeseen happens and our confidence is shattered.

• Maybe you’re giving an important presentation at work.  Your mind freezes and goes blank to where you lose your train of thought and forget some key points.  It gets really awkward, and it’s obvious that you messed up.  In such a setting, your confidence can evaporate in a split second.

• Maybe you’re feeling good about the job you’ve done as a parent—you’ve set a decent example, expressed love to your kids, supported them, and helped them internalize godly values.  But then one of them does something really silly and your confidence suddenly isn’t so solid.

• Maybe you bought a used car and are feeling good about the decision and the deal when, suddenly, the “check engine” light turns on and it begins to experience some mechanical problems.  I’m guessing you’re not feeling quite so confident.

• I have a good friend who, years ago, his marriage suddenly imploded and he was blindsided by it.  His wife essentially ghosted him—he traveled with his work and once, while out of town, she moved out, left a note, and it was over.  Not only did it erode his confidence, but it also created a sense of self-doubt and fear of vulnerability that impacted him for quite a while.  He struggled to make decisions and second-guessed himself.  You could see that his confidence took a major hit.  It took him a while to regain it.

Confidence is likely an issue in all our lives.  We all deal with situations that not only shake our confidence, but where having it can make or break us.  And please understand, when I use the word, I’m not talking about the kind of thing that prompted Peter to say to Jesus “I’ll never deny you” only to do that shortly thereafter.  That is false confidence … pseudo-confidence.  I’m talking about the kind of thing that fosters a sense of security and conviction.

We’ve all known people that exude confidence.  When they encounter a snag or jam, they have a sense of certainty the obstacle can be overcome.  Their confidence causes them to stay the course and push forward.  These are the people that inspire us.  On the flip side, we’ve all known people who are supremely talented but can’t seem to harness their gifts … who have what it takes but periodically engage in behaviors that sabotage their efforts to make a difference in the world.  I want to say, “If you could see in yourself what I see in you, you wouldn’t be shooting yourself in the foot the way you are.”

In this series of posts, I’m looking at the story of David and Goliath.  For I believe it’s not just the narrative of a young man who emerges from the shadows to save the day for Israel.  It’s an account of how we can engage and defeat the various giants we come up against—situations that threaten and terrify us.

If you recall, David was sent by his father to the Valley of Elah to check on his three older brothers—to deliver some supplies and bring back a report.  While there, Goliath stepped forward—as he had twice a day for the past forty days.  He taunted them, insulted their God, and issued a challenge which caused them to run and hide in their tents.  King Saul, seeing the desperateness of the situation, offered some incentives to anyone who’d step forward and take him on but, so far, no one had.  But when David learned of Saul’s incentives and witnessed the insolence and disrespect with which Goliath ridiculed both his countrymen and their God, he expressed a willingness to step up, only to be criticized by his oldest brother and told by Saul he didn’t have what it takes.  That’s where story picks up:

But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.” Saul said to David, “Go, and the Lord be with you.” Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. “I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So he took them off. Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine. (1 Samuel 17:34-40, NIV)

The Israelite army cowered in fear for very good reasons.  Goliath was most fierce, powerful opponent they’d ever seen.  Not only was he antagonistic and aggressive, but he was also physically intimidating.  Over the period of six weeks, they’d taken a beating psychologically.  But David, who’d just arrived on the scene, wasn’t unnerved or overwhelmed at the prospect and said, “I’ll take him on”.  Why?  Was he being unrealistically naïve or foolishly idealistic?  I don’t believe so.  I see three factors at play:

• David had a desire for the reward (which I explored a couple of posts ago).

• David had a passion for God to be honored.  One of the things you notice as you read this story is how indignant he was at the way Goliath referred to his God.  He had a deep passion to reinstate and restore God’s honor. “I can’t let this go on.  He can’t talk about my God this way”.

• David had a confidence both in himself and in God.  And both were needed.  If he was confident in God but not himself, he’d be the person who prays but sat on the sidelines waiting for God to fight his battles.  If he was confident in himself and not God, he’d be like the apostle Peter was in the courtyard right after Jesus was apprehended.  Both elements of confidence were needed.

And you see both in his exchange with Saul.  When Saul comes to him and says, “This is way over your head—you’re not able”, he says, “Let me tell you something.  In the course of tending my father’s flocks, I’ve encountered lions.  I’ve encountered bears.  I’ve had to step in and protect my animals from these predators, and they’ve come after me and I’ve killed them.  I can handle this guy”.  He was confident in his own abilities, but he was also confident in God.  There’s a merging of his confidence—confidence based on past encounters coupled with an awareness and knowledge of God’s care.  In the past, David had seen the hand of God step in and take care of him, and it gave him confidence he could bring to this situation even though this opponent was more formidable than anything he’d faced so far.

One of best weapons to fight giants is our memory of God’s past intervention.  Reflecting on His past provision unleashes a confidence we can bring to the present fray.  If you think of a giant you encountered and handled successfully—something you accomplished that brings you sense of pride looking back—chances are three things were part of that situation: (1) a challenge or a problem, (2) self-doubt, and (3) a commitment to give it your best shot.  The question I want you to think about is:  Which of these three do you think we most often forget about when we recall that past event?  My guess is it’s #2.  We remember the problem and we remember the effort we put forth, but we don’t necessarily recall the doubts we sensed when we were involved in the process.  That’s why I think new giants often throw us; they re-introduce self-doubt.  The uncertainty and insecurity that was a part of our previous victory gets lost.

But I think the arrangement David alludes to here is generally God’s pattern for preparation.  He calls us to be faithful where we are and then uses it to ready us for something greater down the line.  If David had run scared of the lion and bear, he wouldn’t have had the confidence to tackle the challenge Goliath posed.  But because of these past successes, he was ready to confront this one.  Now—he had no idea he was being trained to fight a giant at the time.  He had no clue what God was up to and how He’d use those events.  But David could look back and know the same God who stood with and delivered him before would be with him now.

As he reflected on God’s faithfulness in his own life, it also appears he convinced Saul he’d be successful.  David’s confidence generated a confidence in Saul he hadn’t previously known.  As he sends David off, you don’t sense he believes a mercy killing or slaughter was about to ensue.  Even though the tale of the tape suggested this had all the makings of a mismatch that would be over quickly, there’s a sense in which Saul believed David could win—that Israel at least had a shot and Goliath was not insurmountable foe he and his army had made him out to be.  You see—self-confidence makes others believe in us and God-confidence makes others believe in God.  Because David had both, a sense of confidence and hope was beginning to be birthed in Saul.

But at same time, notice that Saul tried to make David into something he was not when he suggested David wear his armor.  It’s interesting: Saul wasn’t going to go to battle, but now that David has stepped forward, he said, “Here’s how it should be done” and tried to micromanage David.

Can you imagine, in your mind’s eye, how silly this whole thing looked—David trying to maneuver and operate in Saul’s armor—his helmet, his shield, and his sword?  Saul was probably a 50XL and David was a 38R.  When he tried to walk, he couldn’t move.  If we’d have been watching, we’d have been laughing uncontrollably.  Now, the guys in army weren’t laughing, for this was their champion!  Fortunately, David said, “No way!” and took the armor off. 

And there’s a lesson in this:  David didn’t try to be something other than who he was.  He never tried to be Saul, even though Saul tried to make him Saul.  David was only going to take the things he knew well … the things he was comfortable with … the weapons that had proven reliable in the past.  He was going to be himself.

As I think of this, a couple of observations come to mind.  First—some people, in a time of crisis, will try to make you like them.  That was certainly Saul’s approach:  He was trying to make David a replica of himself rather than allowing him to be who God made him to be.  Second—you’ll never defeat the giants in your life with fleshly weapons.  It says David went to the brook and picked up five smooth stones.  He knew that, to win, his sling must become God’s sling and the rocks must become God’s rocks.

Which raises an all-important question:  In a time of crisis, what weapons do we go for?  Do we handle things in a way that honors God, or do we adopt an approach that says, “You know, what Jesus spelled out is the ideal, but this is the real world and I’ve got to use whatever works.”  When we respond to a conflict with vengeance instead of grace … when we harbor unforgiveness and refuse to make peace with someone who wronged us and expressed remorse … when we make business decisions based solely upon profit and not ethics … when we engage in online arguments with harshness and prideful language, not showing love and humility … when we refuse to associate with people of a different social class, race, and political party despite our unity in Christ, we fail to represent God in an effective way. 

Bottom line:  As followers of Jesus, God expects us to use the tools at our disposal to overcome our giants.  He never asks us to use something that isn’t ours to use.  I believe David illustrates for us a basic qualification for conquering giants:  Be yourself!  Had David tried to be someone else or tried to be who Saul wanted him to be, he’d have failed.  But he didn’t!  He went to battle as who he was confident God would enable him to be successful.  Because David was confident of God, he could be confident in himself and go to battle being himself. 

How often so many of us try to use tools we’re not supposed to use.  How often we try to be someone or something else … or measure up to what we think others expect … and end up immobile because we’re trying to wear Saul’s armor.  God wants us to live with confidence—in Him … in ourselves … and in who He made, and is making, us to be.  He wants us to have confidence that, who we are coupled with who He is, is adequate and sufficient to engage the various giants that come our way.  We don’t need to employ the techniques of a depraved, fallen, and corrupt world.  His approach, though unconventional, will help us emerge victorious if used skillfully and rightly.